I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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