Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Houston, we have a squirter
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize