please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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