me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
