Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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