I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
