Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it glows. i had to have it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
