my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize