i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
