Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
