I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
