She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
