Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize