he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
