No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
