eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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