hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
