trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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