help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize