Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We got so high we made milksteak
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
