I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
