Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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