didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I will die if light touches me.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
