I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
