Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
