forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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