We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
