I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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