They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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