Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize