His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
