oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
