I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
