Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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