She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
