week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
