I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
