Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
