Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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