About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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