we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
