At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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