She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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