And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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