So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
