in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
