naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
