how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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