FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
