Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
