having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
