I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
