He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
