bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
