ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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