Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
