i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
