at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
