I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
