Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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