you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
