it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
