Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
