Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You're a waste of cheezeits
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
