she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
