you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
