I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize