half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i out mim tonsoeep
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