yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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