What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
